A month before the Pride March this December, I reminisced the past few Prides I have been to in the last years. By the way, there are two Pride events every year here in the Philippines. One is I think the official Pride parade every June because it is commemorative of the Stonewall Riots, and one every December during the week of the International Human Rights Day. All pride marches I have attended were colorful, gay and proud.
This year, I supported the Bayan Muna and Makabayan contingent in the Pride March in Quezon City. Our throats were parched from screaming and chanting “We’re out, we’re gay, free the 43 today!,” “Lesbian rights are human rights, gay rights are human rights!” I guess everything paid off and our contingent won the “Most Spirited Contingent” award. Last year, we won three awards: “Most Spirited Contingent,” “Biggest Contingent,” and Liza Maza as Pride Queen.
Bemz Benedito of Ladlad asked me while there was an ongoing program: “Tinay, maraming nagtatanong, kung lesbiyana ka raw ba?” And I said, “Anu ba, bakla. Kakaririn ko ba ang pagsuporta sa LGBT kung hindi.” But her question was so discomforting that I asked myself, “Am I really out of the closet?”
For the past years, I, as a person, have been known as many things — a nerd-looking CAT officer during high school, a youth leader, a woman leader, but yes, never a simple lesbian activist. During the first few years of my being an activist, I have deliberately closeted myself, despite open secrets of relationships with fellow lesbians. Call it internal homophobia, but I attribute it more to a struggling identity in a social movement not really that keen just yet on recognizing that there are human beings such as LGBTs. I gathered more courage when I learned the theoretical bases and practice on the struggle for emancipation. It was then when I came out to my friends (or ex-friends), girl groups and some macho friends.
But may be that wasn’t enough. I came out marching in Pride marches. Not enough. I prodded on my former partylist’s support for LGBT issues and events. Not enough. I networked with LGBTs and groups. Not enough. Hay, alangan namang magpresscon pa ako para sabihing lesbiyana ako! 🙂 But I think, Bemz’s question gave me the jolt, made me challenge myself, how can you do more for the LGBTs, in the midst of everything you are into. How can you be OUT there for the struggle for the LGBTs. Since then, I have been brooding, brooding, brooding. And as all bright ideas come from extraordinary situations, Eureka!, I have thought of several ideas in my comfort time in the comfort room. The next months will then bear witness to my being OUT as a lesbian and as a lesbian warrior for the LGBT community.
As a postscript, may I just add a few thoughts on GENUINE LGBT activism. It should not about the amount of foreign funds that go into LGBT NGO work, it should not be about appearing to know or sympathize or advocate or fight for the LGBTs, it is not about paying lipservice about LGBT activism while promoting and actually proliferating macho and opportunist principles, it is not just about form, it is not about reformist principles. Any genuine LGBT activist can see through those who seem to be LGBT activists in form: they have fake smiles and they don’t have the heart and soul to struggle.
A Woman's Work 
Dec 07, 2010 @ 11:11:55
you said it right….. bawal ang opportunistic. 🙂 on my part, i know who i want to work with, to suffer with for LGBT rights advocacy, at pag tumama ako ng lotto who i want to celebrate with. ang dream ko maging funder. at mag submit kayo ng proposals sa akin. and i will weigh your worth on how much you do not take for yourself. bow.
Dec 07, 2010 @ 12:00:05
Sana nga tumama kayo ni Oca sa lotto! 🙂
Dec 08, 2010 @ 04:35:23
Tinay,
Di ka kasi mukhang lesbiana. My first impression of you was you’re a “girly girl,” with your pretty dresses and intricate accessories. But, as the saying goes, one should never judge a book by its cover. And never judge a person just because s/he’s a lesbian, gay, bi or trans and comfortable with her/himself. In my still relatively short time being an activist, I’ve met so many lesbian and gay people. I’m beginning to think that being smart (for some I would even dare say genius) is a common trait among LGBTs. I also feel more at ease in the company of LGBTs, I think it’s because they lack that air of arrogance and selfishness that many “straight” people (read macho men) seem to possess.
Kung meron akong pinangangambahan sa pagdami ng mga bading sa Pilipinas, ito ay ang pagkaunti ng lalaki para sa akin. =D
Dec 08, 2010 @ 06:36:06
Mangamba ka talaga Abby! 🙂 Me mga straight at available pa namang boylets dito sa building, hehe. I think wit, creativity, daring and all other adjectives describe LGBTs, because like all marginalized sectors in society, LGBTs are damned by society to possess all the nega traits and influences. We feel like each and every time, we have to prove ourselves. Each and every time, we are being damned into invisibility. But it is not about LGBTs and women against men, it is about the structures in society that maintains such inequalities. Kaya LGBTs, to paraphrase a friend’s view, have the most rightful interest in emancipating society from such structures.
And don’t forget, Ms. Melanie Marquez Lawyer said that yes, don’t just judge persons by their covers, because they are not books!